this post is from my blog discovery of the day. a colourful life of a gay kenyan.

 i laughed because the first post I read reminded me of a post I had written earlier, it’s dotting of the x’s and y’s, is similar to my attempt at exploring our lives. yet it is totally different. so here’s a story to fill that gap on friday october 09. it is not my own. but it’s out there. you can read it here for yourself. as this is the world wide web. I am free to do this, as long as I’m not making money off it. en I’m not, like the colourful life of a gay kenyan. this is my story. and it’s not mine at all. first off the other writer is  a dude, en I’m a sista. it means different circles en realities. I’m not sure if I know the person or not, though I’m not actually going to expend that much energy finding out, but for those who know, en even for those don’t……now you know more.. secrets.

these secrets are an enduring marker of our existence. i have known a few secrets my whole life. when I was much younger, it was my sexuality…..I literally fucked girls in my closet, behind closed doors. far away from home, between sand pits. it was always furtive, playful, always hidden. even then, we knew….but we did it anyway.

and we got away with it. because in a particularly western/victorian/neo colonial construct, children are not supposed to have sexuality. yet our sexuality is an intrinsic and indivisible part of ourselves. we are our bodies, hearts and minds. we are the universal soul. and it saved me that I was free to be me when Iw as younger. so yeah, I played exclusively with girls, and then beat myself up over the memories during my adolescence. it is for the self hate that I would never go through my teenage years again…….I like where I yam. self loving and stronger. I have many weaknesses, and I’ll get caught up in myself, but I’m writing this blog  for what I think is a good cause. I’m serving the needs of my people. or planning en trying to….

but here’s another story I jus read instead….

 

[let’s call this ” notes for the Q  werd”]

from tuesday september 22 2009

 

Assume that someone, lets call them person x, had to leave what they thought was the perfect relationship for many reasons. The main one being the fact that they were basically a Klande (side-dish, whore, f-buddy, whatever). Further, assume that person x became tired of everything and decided to go on some sort of break from love and life in general….

Then, one day, person x’s friend introduces him to another friend on a website. A wretched site nontheless he still made friends with the person suggested. Let us call this person person y. Person y is a closeted person. Person y further tells person x that he just wants to be friends. Person x doesnt mind AT ALL. So they meet, person x and y. Person x might have started liking person y but tells himself it will never happen because you can never base love or infatuation or whatever people feel over texts and things…. A lecturer told person x that these things are called transit relationships and that they are meaningless… Person x agrees. So they met, and person x was very amused. Not only did he go with friends for backup, but person y was…..very amazing.. Person y Spills beer all over person x’s pants because he was nervous. Person x doesn’t mind. Person y drinks alot. Person x STILL doesn’t mind. Person x has to leave for home but person y stays with person x’s friends. All of them drinking.

Person y vanishes for the whole weekend. Person x is very worried and he doesn’t know why. Person x looks around for person y but to no avail. numbers are off. Person x leaves it to God. Person x doesn’t understand why he cares so much. The following monday Person y surfaces. Person x is happy but upset. Person y got drunk to the extent of loosing the phone. Person x lectured person y. Person y was so sorry person x forgave them. Person x feels wierd inside, what is it, he wondered… The week goes by and person x and person y have been talking. They meet again on a friday. Person y has straight friends. Many. Person y has a friend who suspects something about person x. hmmmm… Persons x and y who apparently were behaving normally didn’t realize that everyone else, person x’s friends included, could see a connection. And according to them it looked like we were an item. oh oh.

Person x has to leave and person y leaves with him. They talk on the way. Very interesting conversations… Person x is seen by a classmate who greets him. person x by the way, was tipsy. Person x has to explain things later… Persons x and y part ways. They still talk over text that evening. Person y tells person x that he’s feeling something. Person x concurs VERY UNUSUALLY!!! Person x has to volunteer with friends at a national function for schools. Person x wanted to meet person y but person y was hangovered. Person x doesn’t mind. Persons x & y continue to talk over text. Person x can’t stop feeling that wierd feeling. Meanwhile, The weekend cotinues. It’s the end of a Holy month in Islam. It falls on a sunday. Meaning the following monday is a holiday as well. Person x was minding his own business…doing his school work and chores around that monday. Person y texts and wants to meet up. Person x doesn’t mind, He really like spending time with person y. ALOT. See, person still doesn’t know why he likes person y… and he always smiles and feels content whenever person y is around. Person y makes him happy.

Persons x and y meet. Alone for the first time, All other meetings had friends. Not Monday. They met. Not even in the city. A location which is now their special place. They meet and talk. Person x comes entirely clean and tells person whats in his mind and heart, how he can’t explain the rate at which things have been going, why person y makes him so happy etc. MIND YOU person x is nervous. Person x never tells all like that, ever. Person y tells him what he feels, person y reeeeeally likes person x. BUT, they both agreed they’re taking things slowly. Person x is really happy! Person y wants to know if person x’s ex will ever be around. Person x explains that he wont ever let anyone or thing get in the way. Person y is assured. Person x promises. Person x also tells person y that he will never expect person y to be like all his exes. He thinks it would be very wrong. Person y agrees… Person y is amazing… Person x and y went to their homes tipsy…but happy with the world. Well person x mostly.

Who is person x?
I love mysteries, it makes life REALLY interesting!

life of a colourful gay kenyan

 

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