Dis’ story is about (Hadithi hii ni ya) the anger en sadness that, not only, I carry around, as we hear/read, witness en experience, the violence inflicted on our bredrin en dadas throughout the continent en in di’ diaspora.
I was finally triggered to share this in ‘open space’ when I watched For coloured girls, on December 4th
[a day that has been marked with truth en justice from time]…. haven’t finished watching the movie yet, (I don’t know when I’ll get the courage to pick it up again, or if it would really even be healthy for me to sit through the end of this rendering of a story that I’ve lived with/in en reasoned thru with other dada out/siders), it’s like something deep/er broke in me when I watched that violent ‘retelling’ of ‘stereo-typical’ black/afrikan communities in di’ diaspora, as I listened to some of those lines that have stoked so many healing fiyas, not only in me, but with so many others……
one thing I don’t need
is any more apologies
i got sorry greetin me at my front door
you can keep yrs
i don’t know what to do wit em
they don’t open doors
or bring the sun back
they don’t make me happy
or get a mornin paper
didn’t nobody stop usin my tears to wash cars
[for colored girls who have considered suicide/when the rainbow is enuf]
I hold her words! Sound! En their powah! so deep in my heart, as I also
found god in myself
& i loved her / i loved her fiercely.
The big love in her-story and our magical hadithi are what carried (not only) me (but many others) thru surviving to thriving, yet in an hour (not even……)
I managed to get so shook up that all those assaults poured themselves into the meal I’d been preparing for a feast, en the ‘ndengu’ was the saddest, filling curry I had eva’ cooked……that was the energy of not only the movie but the brothas en sistas (not so) recently murdered on the continent, that I’ve been hearing about in steady succession in the last few weeks….
Somewhere though through the course of my rolling out chapatis, in silence, watching the film, in (dis)belief en sadness, I couldn’t get away from the deep knowing that even dis’ was jus another wake-up call, that ‘we’ know our stories best, en we have so much beauty, truth, and creative resistance within our communities, all across Tdot, en the world….
En the world, is much bigger than tyler perry’s production of ‘for coloured girls’…….
Werd on the ground is….tings are on fiya right now, everywhere truth seems to be crashing out of daily correspondence, the urgency that we’ve always known is spreading in waves throughout diverse continents, but the bigger point of dis’ story is in the silence betwixt…..slowing down (to speed up) en bridging the gaps between our healing, hope en abundance flowing among communities of (revolushunary) practice throughout the world….
So, I prayed and reasoned and continue to work through the anger I experienced not only with this movie, but with the hate I’ve heard and witnessed, from Raila’s call to arrest gays and lesbians, to the targeting of LGBT communities in Uganda, and the denial of observer status to Coalition of African Lesbians by the African Commission on Human and People’s Rights, to the death of Ncumisa Mzamelo……and hold on to the hope that there’s many of us ‘in solidarity’, and yet the question remains how do we bridge those gaps between us and collectively transform ‘that’ anger?