It’s been a hot minute since I shared my ‘personal’ thoughts, all contradictory en straight up as they’re evolving….the reasons ain’t too deep, I’ve been distracted with searching….I’ve been looking, en I mean  REALLY  looking for a really good job; the kind with benefits en at least a 6 months contract, that’s the dream, en as new as it is, it’s true to my surroundings

the other reality is that I’ve been hitting the streets, offering myself for ‘service to others’ through any pimp running a restaurant, so at least I could start getting cold hard cash at the end of each shift put in, the kinda dollars that will get my debt/s repaid, travel fare, en school fees saved up again…those dreams that are so close, yet so (seemingly) far away….

(but) I have a feeling, this week is gonna be IT…..the pundits have declared that we’re climbing out of the recession (though many more are still unemployed), the birds en bears have officially christened the ‘spring’ (though I prefer the transition of seasons in East Afrika), en even this reality doesn’t come close to capturing the hope that has seen me through surviving en the rewards that have sustained my growth, en are instigating (my) thriving….as simple as one project, one documentary, started out of necessity, en growing in scope en tenacity…as comforting as conversations with God/dess en communion with the earth en holy werd..

I’d been digging myself into deep holes with resistance en worry, making mountains out of road blocks, when all I needed to do was, simple, change….myself, before I even tried to think about how I could do better for others.

I did, change….I have had no choice but to…..one of those beauties of the universe. Everything that happens really is jus’ so, for a reason, en now that I’m happy again… I know that this is where I’m supposed to be (it’s not new)…. where every day gets better, en we get a lil’ closer to our visions.

 The truth about (our) stories is that they’re we all we have, en they’ve changed over centuries, but the fairy tale script remains embedded in our realities.

In the beginning, there was……en then there was a spark, fast forward to boy/girl meets cute. Linger in the chase & drama that ensues, mandatory finding one/self/ metamorphosis, en ….they live/d happily ever after. The end.

That’s one version. Another is where the years stretch with experiments, en settling in foreign cities. Where girl questions hir gender identity and rebels the only was s/he knows how, by any means necessary.

Re/inscribes language on hir body, en grows into the woman she had never imagined, dramatic segue to where woman meets wo/man.  Linger in the ‘cycling’ en metamorphosis that ensues, en they go on to marry several more queens en a king, en….live/d happily after. The end.

En an even older story goes that Oba en Oya vied for one man, Chango, who like Osun, loved many wo/men…en had a couple of loves of his life, en their descendants are scattered all over the world. En this is not the end, or anywhere near the beginning….

The beauty about stories is that we can have our heart’s desire in them, en with just the right amount of faith, magical dust, prayer en work, they come true. En if it’s true…..chant with me now J

So, for the next couple of moons, this blog is dedicated to dadas in solidarity.  Stories of researching afrikan hirstory.  Documenting the evolution of our film project, The Q werd. We’re collecting stories of queer/trans wo/men of afrikan descent, en going way back in time to re/cover what has almost been forgotten, all the betta to move forward (with)…..ever!

starting from the beginning, with indigenous afrikan creashun stories…from gulu en ngai to olodumare….hadithi! hadithi?!!!!!!!

Nilienda eldoret, isiolo, kaimosi, kiambu, kimililili, kisumu,  kitale, lamu, malindi,  nakuru, ngomeni, osogbo, thika, wajir, webuye……nipe mji, nitakupatia hadithi……leo ni ya mashairi kama makmende, en memes bigger than Wikipedia 😉

Recommended listening for this post  (songs of stories in the brewing pot called The Q werd)

  1. Asa – fire on the mountain
  2. Nneka – Africans
  3. Lamya – black Monalisa/empires
  4. K’naan– take a minute/waving flag
  5. Miriam Makeba – Mayibuye!
  6. Stella Chiweshe – mutambazve
  7. Daudi Kabaka – mchumba wangu
  8. P square –  no one like you
  9. Gyptian – butterflies
  10. GidiGidi MajiMaji – many names, many faces
  11. Queen Ifrica – lioness on the rise
  12. Ukoo Flani ft. Nazizi – hiphop halisi
  13. Weird MC – Riranwo

I remember this time last year, en the year before that, en think about where I yam now, en still wish there was a book or a cohesive, nurturing space where I could learn how to fulfill my dreams of love, life partnerships, pikney, en all the good tings’ that we’re looking for, all in one volume. (a case of wishes & horses)

I know its simple; that love is the answer.  That it starts with me, myself en I, en is hinged on sharing with others. I know that giving is priceless, but it’s the concreteness of today, the promises of yesterday for tomorrow, en years from now that I’m struggling to realise.

I give thanx that I have been blessed with gifts from so many, en that somehow, as betwixt as I yam between distant queer/trans communities, my chosen en true (true) homes, and between the disjunction of visionary ideals en under achieved realities…. there is the hope in how far we’ve come, en how many there are of us in this world, dreaming en working for similar bigger pictures (a case of communities of resistance all ova the world)

So I hold on to the faith that the answers really are all within us, that we are ‘not’ “the strange ones”. We are divine creatures and God/dess speaks through us. (Mayibuye!) So, I may not know much about where we’re going, but when it comes to down it, I really don’t need that book at all, I got the realities of many positive people to draw from, en on this here space, I got you, dear reader(s), who could share with me your thoughts on good living.

If there were to be 10 commandments on queer/trans relationships what would they be?

1.     “The Lord” doesn’t have to be your god. You can serve Great Goddess instead J

(as an Afrikan womyn who was raised in predominantly Christian environments, en converted to a few other Abrahamic religions before going ‘indigenous’, I hold strong to the belief that you have to be true to yourself, en why would I subscribe to ideologies that cast my ‘nature’ en choices as wrong en sinful? To each their own of course, but in my opinion, this may be one of the many gifts that queer/trans communities have for ‘others’…if we weren’t meant to be, then we wouldn’t be, but we’re here, we’re not even necessarily queer….chant with me now J )

2.   You can choose en have many god/desse/s en idols.

(Again, from an indigenous perspective, how could we ignore that monotheism, as all humanity, has its roots in Afrika? And from a pan-Afrikan perspective, there are countless manifestations of the Creator. When we dig deeper, what is reaffirmed is the multiplicity of relationships that we have to guide our re/building communities. In other words, in my opinion, it only makes sense that if you were blessed to have some cake, that you should eat it. Whether it’s monogamy, polyandry, polygamy or whatever form of non-monogamous relationship that you en your lover/s are trying to craft. The basics don’t change right? The most important thing in life IS to learn how to give en receive love…the rest is a matter of choice & consent)

3.   You shall not misuse LGBTTIQQ identities

This is a tricky one to negotiate, but it may be at the crux of many missed connections. What’s the rule of thumb of who/not to date? Can a dyke really have a life partnership with a ‘straight’ woman? Are bisexuals really the ones you gotta be worried about, or are they most of the ones on the down lo? Is it ethical for a ‘lesbian’ to go out with a pre-op trans man en outwardly acknowledge their gender identity, but still hold on to a preference for the biological woman?

 (en this is where I’ve got to state that I no longer identify as any one of those LGBTTIQQ identities, en I will continue to take up my right to speak about  LGBTTIQQ  experiences, because the truth is that is what I yam…but those names are not from  MY  culture….technically, as many afrikan conservatives tend to assert, lesbians/homosexuals don’t, haven’t & shouldn’t exist in Afrikan cultures……we’ve got many more of our own terms to draw from, most of which have been purposefully lost, but as long as we live, their memory is within us. So I’m going through conversion therapy, I used to be a lesbian but now I have been freed from my constraints ;)…..but if you ask me what my sexual orientation or gender identity is….I gotta tell you for now, I’m going to have to take a hot minute with that one, I’ll get back to you J….I’mma Afrikan womyn, that’s where I start.)

4.   Remember Pride!

If there is a universal this might be it, everyone should have at least a day of rest en divine communion, once a week.  it’s called healthy living.

5.   Honour your parents en your community

Many a queer en tranny can tell you sad stories about abuse & exile from their biological families because of who they ‘loved, en how they ‘looked’, en many more will tell you about the ways they have survived with chosen families en safe/r spaces. so, a good tip, as many grounded lesbians could tell you, given our penchant for processing en ‘cycling’ together, you shouldn’t just honour en respect the ‘relationship’ you’re in,(with yourself or your lovers) but the bigger point is family en friends that are in your life, that’s what will see you through rough en jood times.

6.   You shall not murder

En if the relationship you’re in makes you feel like screaming blue murder, or like you could be eaten alive en disappear….then get out, en get help.

7.    Re/define adultery

A good rule of thumb, if you didn’t agree to it, it’s cheating en karma’s a bitch.

8.   Don’t steal

9.   Don’t lie

10. You shall not covet (what is not yours).

Discuss.

2010 may just be the year of groundbreaking sci-fi films by talented black womyn.  🙂

As a former geek who was never really ‘into’ sci-fi’, till I found the likes of Nalo Hopkinson, Octavia Butler &  Samuel Delany, then ‘discovered’ my true true love…..watching this trailer for Pumzi the first time, en ALSO  finding out that Brown Girl in The Ring is being shopped around for a feature length film, well that made me practically cream my pants today 😉

Pumzi is officially the first Kenyan ‘sci-fi’ film, although that might just be a matter of perspective en semantics…all depends on your understanding of science AND  fiction…but still, the fact that it was directed by Wanuri Kahiu, an East Afrikan womyn, well that’s more precious than the pioneer status that Kathryn Bigelow got with the Hurt Locker, although even that, in the end, is all jus’ relative, depending on one’s investment in hollywood & using the arts for social change.

the future