20140907_153010“There must be those among whom we can sit down and weep and still be counted as warriors.”
― adrienne rich

as tdot (la ciudad) mourns de passing of (loving amani warriors kama) nahom berhane, wish u peace n rest…

in spaces between honouring ancestors, ours en of dis land

spirit led / to come back

kwasasabu

it is not taboo to go back for what you (/we) forgot – sankofa

Advertisements

Last night was one of those unexpectedly beautiful ones, where I reasoned, ate, danced and reconnected with mo people that I love, respekt and admire so, that not only I need to get to know much betta, [http://www.apaa.ca/]

yesterday was betta than I expected, breaking bread and praying with growing families. I am grateful for working, living, and communing in such human positive spaces. I give thanks for the mentors, healers, peacemakers, farmers, cooks, families and friends gathering to re/build healthy, loving sustainable communities

[real tox: between the lines/ hadithi kama/riddle of the sphinx /a spiral/ healing/litany of survival/ haiku/]

http://www.blacklooks.org/2010/10/the-mask-hides-nothing



weeks been manifesting in sync with the autumn season: full of metamorphosis, deep lessons, storyboarding en mobilising resources for (hibernation en) mo’ arts/educashun en community work

[real tox: we’re, in the spaces between, writing biomythdramas, shooting interviews with POCstars, revising the storyboard of the feature length documentary (from 32 stories to 9ish core characters ), organising fundraisers for a queer/trans youth arts collective to be implemented in May 2011 in East Afrika….big tings a gwaan en the fiya this time is divine]

the drama of the q_t werd is  (un)expected, deep/rooted in pan/afrikan tapestries, familiar/yet masked/with many faces/many acknowledge truthis/ over-rated yet

the stories we’re retelling in dub are the real tox we been having, and the real struggles we been facing in building solidarity among our communities/revolushunary village style

The folks in the  q_t werd are the tapestry of our quest to reclaim our ancestral memories en resituate global voices: afrikan/ queer/ trans/people of colour/ middle class/ poor/ en working class/youth/diversely-abled/artists/healers/farmers/mamas/babas/bredrin en dadas in solidarity/people we know……

you don’t need a weatherwomban to know which way the wind blows…the fiya en wota  dis’ time, on dis here earth of ours, is divine….

hadithi? Hadithi?

Hadithi njoo.

Giza ya?………Sahani ya?……..Nipe mji……..

th_witchthe power of (the) goddess….

my drive…my vision…is essentialSDC11624

afrodisiaangry black womanaudreyaw2

audre

audre

aw14

aw35

akina dada wa ifrika

that i won’t be able to accomplish even half of what I’ve set out to do….

I stopped dreaming of world peace years ago after getting disenchanted with it’s cliched over use in beauty pageants and politicians justifications of distant rage  en foreign wars…

i worry that we’re going to kill ourselves way too soon, even though it seems like there’s  rising anxiety about the state of things and yet  it’s always been there…..why wouldn’t we be looking over our shoulder and worrying about our safety when so many people’s lives have been taken in the service of conquests and imperialism?

i worry that i may lose it, as so many others, en that I might take my life rather than be complacent in the advancement of the power of those that already have en are NOT  willing to accomodate the concerns of those who not too long ago held the key to our survival.

i worry about making the right choice(s) en being independent. what does it mean to be free anyway when as I am, I depend on relationships with others? I was born of a (biological) woman, as everyone of us was….that may the only thing that we have in common with each other. yet (i worry) it’s (not) enough….

the more I know, the more I read and deconstruct, the bigger the battle seems and I know without a doubt that I can not do it alone….yet……where are my comrades right now? we all struggling to be heard en it seems kin cuts deepest….I am here because of the community en the community will be here (even) without me….

so what is my purpose if I don’t follow my destiny? when there are so many paths and theories, how does one really know what the truth is?

the truth is, that I know very little, yet I am learned by today’s standards, en the more I come into myself, the less I fear death.

I am mortal, I was born, I yam, en I shall die, to live (another night) again.

today, en in the past few moons, despite all my best intentions, I have not achieved what I set out to do….en yet I am where I want(ed) to be…though not at home….that’s where I yearn to go back to…home….

en now that concept, for me, is scattered across time en geographical locations….

my dreams seem to be constrained by the material/world.

so I worry….that I won’t be able to get away as easily as I’d like/need to,

or nurture my fantasies into fruition…

i’ve already sacrificed so much,

I wonder what else if left for me to give,

will it be my life or my sanity?

i’m holding on to both for now…..